


{Unnamed}

by sweeney_spaceboii



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, OC, OOC, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Hatred, Stardew Valley - Freeform, Suicide, emily and clint aren't bad parents!!, poor representation, self indulgent fic, shane doesn't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 16:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeney_spaceboii/pseuds/sweeney_spaceboii
Summary: The fic takes place after the farmer helps everyone out with their issues.Shane is on a stroll one day, going near the cliffs he used to visit when he was in a dark place. He sees Sydney there, and he immediately questions it. He's there to witness the final moments of the blacksmith's son, both on the cliff and in the clinic.





	{Unnamed}

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just practice, I don't intend on making this a big deal or anything. I'm really sorry if I portray anything incorrectly, or if things come out wrong, I really did try to make this decent.  
> Sydney's a character that I've had for a while, and this is one of the first times I'm actually writing something with him. As I said, I'm very sorry if the characters seem out of character, or I don't portray things correctly. I'm still learning!  
> If you're sensitive to suicide, or things involving suicide, please don't read this! It's not my intention that people get triggered by this, or offended.  
> Thank you!

Sydney had a warm smile, one that everyone could remember. He was very friendly, even if he didn’t see people a lot. He was constantly in the mines, he lost an arm there. Anybody could remember the commotion when Linus dragged Sydney to the clinic, the sheer panic from Emily and Clint, the heartbreak written on Sydney’s face when he woke without an arm- his right arm. Maru had to create a new one for him, and for a while, Sydney wouldn’t show his face. People would say he got more.. Anxious and jumpy after his arm was replaced. No one knew what happened, not even his parents.  
Sydney had bags under his eyes, the scars seemed to stand out even more against his paling skin. He wasn’t doing well, obviously. He seemed to get more careless in the mines, as he would be in the clinic more. He tried to avoid going home on some days.  
There he sat, on one of the man cliffs, staring at the setting sun. He was curled up tightly, crying into his knees. He knew no one would hear him, he was so far away from anyone.  
“Sydney?”  
Sydney wiped his eyes quickly and whipped around. He saw Shane standing there, a concerned expression written across his face.  
“Shane- why.. Why are you here?”  
“I come here to think and relax.. Why are you here?” Sydney hoped that was true, he heard about Shane’s attempts at suicide and having to constantly be brought to the hospital. The younger shook his head.  
“I... It’s a nice view.” He turned his focus back to the darkening sky. “It’s the last thing I want to see.”  
“.. What are you talking about?” Shane stepped closer, watching Sydney stand up and take a step towards the edge. It was small, his foot barely ahead of the other.  
“It’s so nice. It’s taunting, don’t you think? Nobody could ever achieve such perfection as this. I’m glad I get to see it..”  
“Sydney?”  
Another step. “I’m imperfect. I’ll never be good enough, Shane. Ever since I lost my arm… I don’t take my medication anymore, did you know that? They didn’t do anything. I threw them out. I wish I didn’t. This could’ve been easier.”  
Shane was silent, he reached out a bit, watching Sydney take another step. He felt useless.  
“Dad’s gonna go out of business. I can’t work like I used to. There’s so much that we’d have to do that can’t be done.” He looked at his arm and tightened his fist. “I should’ve died. Linus shouldn’t have taken me to the clinic. They’re in debt now, mom and dad. It’s my fault.”  
The tips of his toes were dangling off the edge of the grass. Shane held his breath, he felt as if he breathed Sydney would fall.  
“I know what you’re thinking, this is silly. You shouldn’t do this. Someone loves you, things will get better. Dumb things like that. I tried to think that way. It didn’t work. And now I’m here, ready to step to my death and lamenting to a guy who hates me.” He was crying now, the way his shoulders moved gave it away.  
“When I’m dead, Shane, remember this. In my pillowcase, the red envelope. It’s my letter.”  
Shane was frozen in his place, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t remember how the farmer had convinced him not to roll off.  
“Goodbye,” Sydney breathed out and took the final step. Shane raced forward and tried to grab anything from Sydney. He couldn’t. He stood at the edge, eyes wide as he watched the younger fall to his death.  
“Oh my Yoba-” he backed away instantly and began to sprint down the path. When he got to Sydney, the body was limp.  
He hoisted the body up and began to run back to town. He was crying, he shouted for help as he ran into the center. He barged into the clinic and looked at Maru.  
“It’s an emergency- where’s Harvey?”  
Maru looked up from her paperwork, she vomited in her mouth and rushed to get Harvey. Sydney was taken from Shane immediately after Harvey came out. Several people went into the clinic, the surrounded Shane and questioned him.  
He told the story, looking around the room with guilty eyes until his gaze landed on Clint and Emily. The two were holding on to each other, sobbing. He made his way to them and whispered what Sydney had told him- the location of his suicide note.  
The three went home and went to find the letter, Emily found it and slowly sat, opening it. Her eyes widened as she scanned over it. She began to read aloud.

To whomever it may concern:  
Yes, if you’re reading this, I’m dead. If not, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not your fault, it’s nobody’s fault. I’m stupid, I know. I assume you want to know why I’ve gone through with this. I can’t name just one reason.  
I’ve been struggling with anxiety for a while. You can ask mom and dad, they know every medication I was on. That started young, I can’t pinpoint an age.  
I didn’t mind going down into the mine, I loved going in with dad. I didn’t mind the scars I got, scars give character, as mom would say. I never got deep enough to the point where things would be... Smart enough to wreck my arm like that. At the point, when I lost my arm, I felt hopeless. I knew the amount of money it cost mom and dad- to pay for everything. I know that they’re still paying it off. I blame myself for being careless. I should have paid more attention- to everything around me. When I lost my arm, I lost some of my soul. Hopefully, without me, things will be easier for them. I love them with all my heart, and I truly think I’m doing them a favor.  
To the townsfolk, especially do whatever with this letter. Shame me, call me selfish. Do whatever. I only ask that you leave my parents, Clint and Emily, alone. They don’t deserve any ridicule, they didn’t raise me wrong. They were the most amazing parents I could ask for.  
As my last wish, I want everyone to know that I love them.  
Goodbye forever,  
Sydney 

Emily clapped a hand over her mouth, her own tears adding to those that already stained the paper. She looked up at the two and made her way to Clint. The two held each other and cried, and Shane slipped away.  
Shane went to the clinic, he noticed that Elliot was still there with Leah. He took a seat somewhere else and put his head in his hands. He stayed there, even though the other two left. He looked up when the door opened, he saw the blood on Harvey’s gloves, the sweat on his head. He stood up and watched Harvey look over.  
Harvey’s face fell and he shook his head, “I can’t do anything further. It’s only a matter of time until he’s…”  
“Let me see him,” Shane walked over, Harvey reluctantly agreed and lead him back.  
Sydney was hooked up to machines, his eyes were shut. He couldn’t move anything, but he heard footsteps, and then a person flop in the chair beside him.  
“Sydney, oh my Yoba... I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything. I.. I was frozen- I couldn’t think and I could’ve saved you.. If you have any strength left- if you can manage, please, please.. Fight it. Don’t give into death. I believe in you- I need you- we all do.” Shane’s voice was dry and it sounded like he was crying.  
Sydney wished he could sit up and hug Shane, he’d be crying with Shane and apologizing over and over again. As Shane droned on, the voice and noises began to fade.  
No, Sydney thought, it felt like cold hands were pulling him into the darkness, No- I can’t die yet. Not like this.  
For a moment, his hearing came back to him, the last words he heard before everything went out.  
“Sydney, I love you, you dumb fuck.”  
The flatline startled Shane and Harvey. Harvey pushed Shane away and tried his all to get a heartbeat back. Shane tried to watch through the tears running down his face.  
Harvey turned to Shane after what seemed like minutes of trying. “I.. I can’t do anything. We lost him.”  
We lost him.


End file.
